Music cannot be lived without. It is a prerequisite for a meaningful life. Sharing mine isn’t something I do often pretty much because I don’t know anyone else that listens to it. At my last visit with LightRX, I was talking with the new girl, Stephanie, about music and apple gadgets. Then we got onto the topic of darkness, and she immediately became an interesting person in my eyes. We both enjoy alternative musics apparently, but then we got onto the topic of my goddess metal. I told her about Delain and her symphonies of darkness and light. She got all surprised when I told her the lead vocalists were female. It’s rather uncanny I have this conversation during a crucial moment in my life. She asked me about some other bands like it, and perhaps I turned someone onto it. That made me happy.

I’ll probably be talking to Stephanie a lot since she’s going to be doing my hair removal. The appointments are a grueling two hour session, but it’s nice to be able to share the stuff that I really want to. When I’m at work or around guys I can just pretty much tell they’re uncomfortable around my music which is why I’ve come accustom to listening to your average crap on occasion, but honestly, I could give a fuck less about what’s happening in the club. I’m pretty much over my temporary dubstep craze.

When I listen to it now, it’s just noise. All of the deep emotion in my music is literally the essence keeping me afloat right now. A woman with a powerfully inspiring voice backed by the raw melodic beauty of a symphony is like the most amazing feeling in the world. I literally feel absolutely free when I’m home alone blasting music by myself and just wearing whatever I want. This is really fortunate for me too because I don’t watch TV. I’ll do a movie or occasionally watch a series when I find one I like, but music is my passion. It captures the spirit of an undying flame that still burns within. It’s how I know I’m still going to make it through this bitter illusion called reality. I’m always living in two worlds on one plane of existence. It is simply who I am as a person, and I have this really huge heart so like it always hurts. It’s an ache longing for a much needed relief.

Epica – Storm the Sorrows

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