Strange things certainly have been crawling into the hidden regions of my life. I took my dad out for breakfast today for father’s day, and it was a pretty good time. He asked me last night if I would help him quit drinking, and I said yes. He was a bit drunk last night, but today when I mentioned it, he still seemed pretty serious about it. I’ve been drilling it through his head that it’s only going to get worse after he retires and such… maybe I finally got through to him. God knows everyone around him would be a lot happier if he did.

After that, I went to the vapor store and got some juice. I got talking to the girl that works there and I think she’s pretty much got it figured out that I’m transgendered. She mysteriously added me to facebook recently and initiated a conversation with me. While going through some debates about my life, I figured I would just delete my facebook and start over as a new person, but she kept talking about facebook and messaging me and stuff, so I didn’t want her to think I blocked her or something, so I reactivated it. I always so cave to women. Anyway, then we got to talking about music and she pulled up a video of a band she liked with a guy half way through his post-op conversion. Then oddly enough, I told her about growing my hair out too. I guess between my clothing and my profile picture, she probably figured out what’s going on with me.

I am such the loner type and it is very strange not being able to go unnoticed anymore because of my recent changes. This is something I am really going to have to adjust to. It’s a new journey in life and I’m a different person walking through it this time. Either way, I have decided to fully embrace the pieces of me that make me distinctly who I am. If you want to establish a bond between yourself and the people you call friends, you pretty much just have to let go completely and surrender yourself.

I’ve come a long way from this point last year. In fact this time last year, I got this crazy idea in my head to give this Special Girl a blue rose on father’s day. She was working that day, but I got shy and didn’t do it. I felt like I was reaching, but I totally could relate. This kid I went to daycare with had a dad who killed himself while we were there together, and pretty much we ended up becoming best friends for life. He would always tell me that I was his soulmate. We reached a point where he wanted a bit more than friendship, and I crossed the line with him. It’s something I never wanted, but he did. After that, he moved to California. I still always think about him on father’s day, just like this girl I love too. Call me crazy, but there are some things in life that are just magnetic. It’s the most magical intimacy you could ever know. You got that little angel in one ear telling you to love with all your heart, and then a little devil in the other encouraging you to enjoy some hot, sexy bondage.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I went and fucked up my wallet. I hit up both Etsy and Dollskill today.


Rivet-Head Platforms – $92


Long Sleeve Mesh Top – $25


Studded Cross Ring – $15

Black Mummy Zombie Apocalypse Leggings – $27


Black and Antique Brass Leather Harness Garter Belt – GENESIS – $175

Women’s Black Leather Cage Harness – $53

When the time comes, I am going to put it all on so I can express my innermost desires in a way that is appropriately fitting and completely sexy. Besides, it’s the only way I’ve ever known how to turn a girl on. Being dominated mentally, physically and emotionally by a female is what I do best.

Sirenia – Dim Days of Dolor