Well, this weekend was an interesting one. We had my nephew’s birthday party and lots of people here. My sister went into my room to borrow a shirt and saw girl’s clothing in my room then made a big deal about it to my dad. He was like demanding to know whose it was. I think it’s funny that they think I would actually have a chick in my room because I haven’t in six years now.

I worked pretty much all weekend. Spent Saturday morning at my day job, then went to the start up shop and then went to Ludington later that night to do some more work on a remodel. I got to hangout with my mom for Mother’s Day and she brought up the clothing and got mad knowing that my dad and sister just barge into my room whenever. It’s a relief that she stands up for me as no one else has ever really respected my privacy. My dad and sister would throw a fit if I did that to them, seriously.

It’s also kind of funny too because my mom grabbed a hoodie out of my car and it was a women’s carhartt. She was like, “oh wow this is really nice, I really like it.” I am very grateful to have one person in the world to talk to and be completely open with. I never saw this coming, but my mom is honestly my new best friend now. She had been very disappointed with me most of my life because of my drug use, and there was a point where she almost gave up on me. I am so happy that I turned my life around, and when I think about this stuff, I just start crying. It’s something I do a lot, but it’s completely┬ánecessary. It reminds me that I’m still human.

I hope someday I can give my mom all the grand-kids she’s been wanting and bring home a woman to meet her. That will be the best day of my life and I still get to look forward to that moment because I am choosing life. I’ve often contemplated suicide because I don’t want to die alone being a fucking tranny, but if I did do that, I would literally cause my own worst fear to happen.

Six long ass years… what is this God; a 7 year tribulation? That’s really fucking funny according to my dreams. 23.24.666? Why do I see those numbers? Why did I see the number 22 like 300 times in one night? I assume I just need things drilled through my head so I don’t give up on this new beautiful life we created together. Speaking of life, here are some pictures of the things that will support this expensive ass plan God has for us. Seriously… two women and five kids, that ain’t gonna be cheap!

This is a control panel for a lathe interlock system. I started building these out of my garage for Phil and they take 22 hours to build. I was making $800 off each one, but I decided to go hourly so we can invest further in the company.

This is our start up shop. It’s located next to Founders in the industrial ghetto. They have artists, antique shops and even a burlesque show in this building. I really love spending my evenings here after work wiring up panels and assembling product. I can wear girl’s clothing and vape here too, it’s perfect!

Helm Automation, the huge future corporation of industrial controls automation! I am happy to be apart of something like this, it’s awesome. My boss is getting close to being able to quit his day job too so I’m gonna make this process as efficient as possible to speed things up.

Spent 4 and a half hours making these door contact cables. It’s a good thing Briana is a total fucking nerd. Playing Nintendo, with Lego’s and computers actually ended up paying off. Not really sure where playing Barbie’s with my sister paid off, but hopefully that will too when I learn how to get my own girly style down.

To celebrate my nerdhood, I bought a bunch of dorky cotton tee-shirts. I got them in large and plan to shrink them in the wash with some warm water a bit. I hope this goes well with all my girl jeans. I actually went through and got rid of all my guy boxers, socks, shorts and pants. I am down to only owning men’s shirts, but hopefully someday that can change. Plastic surgery scares the hell out of me, but I am really considering having a few changes made to my body. Bicep reduction is completely invasive, but I kinda wanna do it…

I don’t look totally gay in a woman’s shirt, but every time I put one on, I just end up being unhappy about my biceps. My feminine qualities are definitely my selling point. Every time I try something more masculine, I just end up feeling like a contradiction all over again. Goddamn, I really need to clean my room.

Well, it’s time to chill and get my girl pajamas on. I had a very long 80 hour work week and literally did not have a single day off. I’m going to take next weekend off work so I can spend some time with Briana. I want to go full drag with some of the new clothing I have. My Carhartt utility leggings are the bomb. I’m going to get all dolled up as a working girl and put on my wig and some makeup, then take some pics of myself with my hammer drill! It’s gonna be soo hot, I can’t wait! ­čÖé