This is one of those things that makes me a total freak of nature. It began when I was young. They were just simple meaningless dreams. I felt like I was living in deja vu quite often. In the 3rd grade, I saw this girl named Melissa. She was tall, pale and had short black hair. Then three weeks later, she was the new student in class. I never actually thought much of it until I grew up and suffered from some emotionally painstaking moments due to brutal realities in life. I honestly can say that I am not religious nor did I ever seek out God, but instead God found me. I was pretty much begging for death and what I saw literally sent me fleeing towards a bible.

Once I started reading it and stuff that’s when loads of very vivid and symbolic dreams began streaming into my mind. If I had to describe it to someone, I would say it was like receiving spiritual psychotherapy. My attention was definitely undivided and I saw some of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen, so much in fact the dreams made reality dull; they became my own obsession. Then I started having them while I was awake too. The day visions were mostly about reality. I would see a name, a face, a date or even a place, then it would come to be a reality.

I saw a blond guy crying at Grand Valley in room 73. Three weeks later I met him. His name is Mike and he was the first person to ask me to be an AA sponsor. My journal contains a well documented series of these phenomenons and I have so many written down that eventually I decided to just stop keeping track altogether. The freakiest one to ever happen involved my sister and her ex-husband. I told my parents something bad was going to happen and they doubted it, but as events began to unfold and things got ugly, they were freaked out and looked at me like I was some kind of goddamn freak.

Eventually her ex got arrested outside the Ludington State Park with a fifth of whiskey, an empty bottle of xanax and a loaded .45 magnum under his seat. I took his keys that night and left him there, then had my sister call the police. Until this day, my mom still gets chills over it when it’s mentioned, which isn’t very often. Sometimes a premonition can be avoided if you take action, but then there are things that cannot be avoided. They literally just happen and they are far beyond your control.

It reminds me of my 40th birthday. What I saw was crazy to me. I thought to myself, “first of all I would never quit drinking, there’s no woman in the world worth that.” I was totally wrong. I did stop drinking. Secondly, I thought there’s no way in hell I would ever grow¬†my hair out long, but I was wrong about that too because here I am fucking doing it. I also doubted the woman there holding my birthday cake, and ya know, I still doubt that. That would never ever happen. There’s no way in fuck a woman would ever marry me and have 5 fucking kids with me. My daughter, however, is so goddamn beautiful and precious that it would be a crime not to bring her into this world. It’s funny, I’ve dreamed about her 3 times. Her face literally makes me cry.

Some things in life are just meant to be a mystery, so just let it come and let it be. Miracles do happen.