Day: May 2, 2017

Stealthy musical chairs

Well, I have to say it’s a lot more fun blogging than writing in a journal. I miss it. I did some spring cleaning and I got rid of a lot of shit, and it’s a huge relief. I’m going to be getting rid of all the clothes I don’t like and replacing them. I’m very excited. I’ve been shopping for stuff that I can wear at all times, so I probably won’t be buying too many skirts and whatnot. You just can’t get away with that and I don’t want to waste money on clothing I’m not willing to wear in public.

I got a new wig in the mail today too and I have mixed emotions about that… I decided I want real hair, not fake. I am going to grow it out long and it’s gonna be wonderful. I’ve dyed my hair black before and I honestly really miss my emo days, so overall I feel pretty happy about this decision.

I expect my carhartt jeans and shirts to be here tomorrow. They’re not too far off from men’s, but just a little more snug fitting. My last pair of men’s jeans are a size 30 waist and they slide off my ass without a belt as it is. A women’s size 8 fits so much better. Well, that’s about it. Musical chairs with my clothing. I think I’ll keep my wool carhartt hoodie and some work pants, but that’s it. All the other shit has to go. Just to think all the years I put up with wearing stuff I absolutely hated. Honestly, donating 7 trash bags to Good Will felt really great. I am getting rid of all my baggage once and for all.

☠️☠️☠️☠️ RIP Brian ☠️☠️☠️

My Nightmare

Her beauty is a compelling mystery

Her face, a soft and dark beauty

Her eyes mesmerize and hypnotize me

She was my drive, I made her thrive


Her lips are so soft, so sweet, so lustful

Her body dances in my mind, she haunts me

Her black and soft hair lingers like toxic air

Her evil deadly mist, my weak broken first


She cuts deep into me with her blade

She can see through me like glass

She pulls my strings for I’m her puppet

She pushes my button, she’s my controller


I exalted her, she belittled me

I applauded her, she defiled me

I elevated her, she degraded me

I held her up, she pushed me down


Her awesome thunder, my great plunder

She remains to me, a remarkable wonder

Her wake, a nightmare that made me a mess

She deceived me like the devil wearing a dress